Could A Stroller Solve Logistical Nightmares?

I know that it may sound silly to think that a stroller could turn things around, but the stroller is just the material thing that opens the door to a cornucopia of immaterial things.  A daily stroll around the neighborhood.  A trip to the park.  That necessary trip to the grocery store. 

I love Bill Cosby Himself.  I loved it back when it came out because lets face it, Bill Cosby is a very funny guy.  I love it more now since my life has caught up to the material:

My wife and I have five children and the reason why we have five children is because we do not want six.

[to someone in the audience] Do you have children? How old are they? They're grown now, but how many did you have? Two? Okay, that qualifies. That qualifies, because a person with one child, I don't really call them a parent, because there are too many things left out. If you have just one child, there are too many things left out. For instance, if something's broken in the house, you have one child, you know who did it! See, you don't have to go through "I... I... I...". You know the child did it! Also, people with one child do not have to go through "Will you stop touching me?" I mean, if you got one child and the child is doing that, then you gotta take it away.

Anyway, to draw a focal point, when you have three kiddos, that takes it up a notch.  There are too many things that even other parents may not understand.  We just don't get out of the house with our trio of little children, well not often anyway.  I was at the mall earlier this week and had Benjamin and Reagan in a double stroller with Jackson in the Baby Bjorn.  Actually, that wasn't bad, well not while we were at the mall, but later in the day I couldn't move.  Don't get me wrong, the Baby Bjorn is a great item and I recommend it to other parents, but Jackson is just getting too big in more ways than one as legs are now long enough that his feet reach the jewels.  Not only is that configuration a physical challenge, I cannot escape, "You've got your hands full."  I even got a, "Bless your heart."  Do I look pathetic enough to warrant a Bless your heart?  I probably do.  Is it too much to want to get out of the house and have my hands less full?  I think not. 

My fixation on a stroller came as an afterthought from a lunch that I had last week with a new friend, Kyle.  Kyle is a father of four with his two youngest being 10 1/2 month twins.  We were discussing the logistics of possibly doing something together.  There we were, two highly intelligent fathers both drawing a blank as to solving the logistics of making a simple outing simple.  Well at least I count him as a highly individual, as for myself, I used to be but there may be permanent brain damage associated with having five children.  Anyway, the ponderance of a simple outing brings up all of the scenarios that are logistical nightmares.  There is the grocery store where there is no cart capable of containing my three amigos.  Yes, the racecar cart has room for three, but the buckle is simply not adequate to keep an escape artist at bay, nor does it prevent children from leaning out, which is a major safety hazard. 

Anyway, Jackson is getting fussy, so I will wrap this up.  We need a triple stroller, and have an opportunity to grab one at a steal.  The purchase price for this stroller is just a few dollars more than shipping on the same item from a different seller, but we simply don't have the cash on hand.  The fact that there is an opportunity to buy is an answered prayer as we lost the ebay auction and now have a second chance offer.  The seller is even able to meet us half way from Lexington, KY through a fortunistic schedule of event that they will be in Corbin, KY tomorrow evening.  Anyway, I haven't asked for a single dime since being laid off seven months ago, but if anyone should feel compassionate enough to make a donation, it is not just I that will be thankful, but my children will benefit immensely.

Thank You!!!

Letting Go of Bigger Things

In my last post, I wrote about having to sell my truck, which ultimately meant having to let go.  This week, I have faced letting go of something less tangible. Since moving here, I have been attending the same church that I attended the last time that we lived in this area.  Because of our special circumstances, I contacted a church friend explaining that we really needed to be a part of their outreach because of Tiffany's chronic pain, her being pregnant, being with four children while I remained in New Mexico to work.  Sadly nothing ever came of it.  The weekends that I was home, I would take the children to church by myself.  Now, taking four children anywhere by myself is a certain challenge and church is by no means different.  The part of my experience that stands out is that because the church had grown immensely, there was three services on Sunday, which meant that the time between services was little and the bustle between services is well choreographed.  If I started dropping children off at their classes at same time the classrooms first allowed dropoff, I could just barely finish in time for service.  Ultimately there was no spare moment for meeting people or fellowship.
Being a broken individual is awkward enough as is.  There's a multiple layer of self protective devices in play, so to go to church and be in an atmosphere where the broken individual must go out of their way to initiate conversation isn't a successful formula.  Is there no one that has an eye for these things?  If one has to spell out the hurt they are in to garnish empathy, doesn't that tarnish the sincerity?  I think so.  But to yearn to be connected, take the effort to be in a gathering of fellow believers, and then not connect-that is demoralizing.
The kicker is that I have engaged in conversation with church staff over the following year and I have hoped that I had come up in a prayer request or be mentioned amongst staff members in some fashion.  You see, I know one of the focal points of this church to be family and marriage.  They even have marriage mentors.  Maybe my fallacy is in assuming that the family ministry is fully aware of conditions and life events that are sure fire red flags.  With a spouse having chronic pain, marriages have about a 75% fail rate.  Parents that endure an extended time of having children in the NICU, the fail rate is nearly 100%.  Statistically, my marriage has zero chance of survival.  I assume that would mean something to someone capable of identifying such things.  I would be glad to share a cup of coffee and discuss what has transpired in my life.  I have so much to be thankful for, I feel exceedingly blessed. Yes, I am downtrodden and broken, but the best medicine for that is fellowship.  I have sat and prayed with my wife for one family to connect with. For those that may be into numbers on effectiveness, or percent increase, it may be impressive to say that you've doubled, a 100% increase.  You can add thousands to weekly attendance, and you will always be able to calculate a percent increase.  But take someone who has nothing and fill that void, the increase is incalculable, it is infinite.  To be a friend to the friendless, to clothe the naked, to shelter the homeless, to feed the starving, love the unloved--to add any missing element is influencing without measure.

I traded emails with a former staff member and asked if I was wasting my time.  The response was an affirmation.  There were qualifiers, and rightly so. Basically, I am not getting the experience that I need to grow.  While that is is likely unintentional, it could be part of God's design, and to move on is the right decision.  

Letting Things Go

Friday was a tough day for me. Unemployment has lasted longer than I would have ever imagined and as such, we had gotten to the point where it was sell the truck or turn it in to creditors. As much as I really enjoyed having the truck, I won't miss it so much that letting go symbolizes defeat, not that I feel mired in defeat, but there was a stubborn hope that things would work out.  My wife and I agreed some time ago that since we have outgrown the truck, it wasn't practical to keep it.  I just wanted to let go on my own terms.  Fact is that my own terms may never have resulted in selling the truck.  Why is it that some of the simplest things to decide are so difficult to put into action?  If you think about it for example,Aron Ralston, who became trapped by a boulder while mountain climbing, if he had more efficiently eliminated all of the dead end solutions, the movie would be called 12.7 Hours. 

In actuality, I have known a lot of turmoil in my life since purchasing that truck.  I was let go of my job one week following the purchase.  We lost a niece the following Spring by being shaken to death.  Tiffany has been hit hard by Fibromyalgia.  We had two difficult pregnancies in which all of the children spent time in the NICU.  We lost Ethan.  Work has been unsteady, in which I have been an absentee father for much of the time to stay employed.  Just in general, it has been a period of time where we have been hit with things that make the strongest of people stumble and have to get back up. 

I question whether obedience comes into play, because the purchase was unnecessary.  It was a spontaneous decision, which of course we crafted necessity unnecessarily.  God wants us to be fiscally responsible, and the truck was a cash cow especially considering that we traded a vehicle that was nearly paid in full, but would all of the crap that we have gone through be a reprimand? It would seem to be a costly lesson. 

Working Hard at Hardly Working

The last thing anybody wants when they are out of work is for those little things to go wrong.  I got laid off in February and for me, it has been one little thing after another.  But it has also been one blessing after another as well.  Maybe I was supposed to wait a month to get the vacation pay that was left out of my last check.  I filed unemployment in the wrong state.  Who knew that when a previous file for unemployment is denied, that the claim is still active?  I lost several weeks of unemployment insurance benefits due to that little misunderstanding.  I have an appeal hearing tomorrow about that, and will get those lost weeks back, but there's a beauty in the timing of things.  If I had started getting unemployment benefits at the same time that I was still getting the last of my pay, I likely would not have been able to budget it as well as having to make due until the present.  We've scraped by so far not skipping on any bills.  Some have been a little late, yes, but we've been blessed enough to not have to start picking which bills not to pay.  That's a lot scary.  But with that backpay, I'd be back above water for a moment. 

It is kind of funny because of all of those little things that have gone awry, I have been in touch with Human Resources with my former employer a fair bit.  One of the first conversations that I had with her was being totally unprepared but that we'd get through this time with what we need.  She was a bit shocked by my confidence in the matter.  Do I still have the same confidence? I do.  Do I understand what is going on here, or some higher calling of purpose of this season of unemployment?  I wish I could say yes, but I have an open mind and heart to whatever may come our way.