Friday was a tough day for me. Unemployment has lasted longer than I would have ever imagined and as such, we had gotten to the point where it was sell the truck or turn it in to creditors. As much as I really enjoyed having the truck, I won't miss it so much that letting go symbolizes defeat, not that I feel mired in defeat, but there was a stubborn hope that things would work out. My wife and I agreed some time ago that since we have outgrown the truck, it wasn't practical to keep it. I just wanted to let go on my own terms. Fact is that my own terms may never have resulted in selling the truck. Why is it that some of the simplest things to decide are so difficult to put into action? If you think about it for example,Aron Ralston, who became trapped by a boulder while mountain climbing, if he had more efficiently eliminated all of the dead end solutions, the movie would be called 12.7 Hours.
In actuality, I have known a lot of turmoil in my life since purchasing that truck. I was let go of my job one week following the purchase. We lost a niece the following Spring by being shaken to death. Tiffany has been hit hard by Fibromyalgia. We had two difficult pregnancies in which all of the children spent time in the NICU. We lost Ethan. Work has been unsteady, in which I have been an absentee father for much of the time to stay employed. Just in general, it has been a period of time where we have been hit with things that make the strongest of people stumble and have to get back up.
I question whether obedience comes into play, because the purchase was unnecessary. It was a spontaneous decision, which of course we crafted necessity unnecessarily. God wants us to be fiscally responsible, and the truck was a cash cow especially considering that we traded a vehicle that was nearly paid in full, but would all of the crap that we have gone through be a reprimand? It would seem to be a costly lesson.
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